etiquette lessons on beer

I started back at work this weekend and I feel the need to lay out the rules on how to efficiently visit a beer store. and they shall go like this:

1) Empties: every employees biggest hate, so let's lay out the ground rules:
-all bottles should be sorted by colour and shape (browns with browns, clears with clears, and stubbies with stubbies) an example would be that Moosehead should not be in the same case as Molson Canadian bottles (different colours)
-if the case is damaged, pick up some cases from the beer store for your empties. DO NOT make the attempt to carry them into the store as when the box breaks (and it will) the cashier will most likely treat you like crap
-pre-count bags of cans (we just need to know a number as they go into a huge bin)
-do not bring in bags of bottles, well, we don't encourage this as normally the customer has to go into the bag of skunky beer to dig them out
-chipped/broken bottles= blue box (we aren't giving you cash for them)
-and finally, do not stock pile your empties for the year and return them all in April. This is the worst season for returning empties (spring clean up, students, etc...) and we see enough moldy bottles, bug infest boxes, and rotten cases that we want to throw up.. so how about you return cases in bundles of 5 (an even $12)

2) Identification
-yes, we are probably going to ask, and rather than playing the "I wonder if I'll get carded ?game" just have it ready as it will save time on both yours and the cashiers part at the register
-don't screw around about i.d.'s. if you realized you forgot it, go home and get it... we have all night

3) Intoxicants/Minors
-if your drunk, we can't serve you...shitty deal, but it's the law. Yelling, screaming and swearing at us will not give us the urge to rush and get your beer for you. Also, this could lead to you getting banned from the store (just as a cautionary item)
-minors: do not send someone who you don't know to get you beer. it could end up being that they are refused service and/or denied from the store

4) ask
-we know tons of types of beer...whatever you are looking for we probably know it, so go ahead and ask and we can help you out (rather than standing/staring at the wall)

5) try to avoid the peak times
-sometimes inevitable, but if you want fast service, try to avoid the 5 o'clock rush...or the closing rush (the last hour of the day is our busiest)

and as a final note, a beer store uniform on the bus should not be a conversation starter...
"do you get discounts"
"no"

I answer this every day on the way to work...
The anger must be flowing from my lack of sleep...